My parents think they can just . charge at me head first . and expect not to get hurt . i dont need them in my life . they're nothing but another 2 people who tell me what i can and can't do . yes, i would die if i dont go out with my friends you know fucking why . because they're not friends if i dont see them other then school . because if i dont see them. i'd suicide . they think they know everything about me . they think i just hang out with girls all the time . they dont know who my best friend is they dont know they hurt me more than the amount they say they love me the amount they say they care about me they say they dont care if my friends are allowed out or not . they say they dont care about my friends . i do . i need my time away from them i need my time with my friends i need time with my baby . i need them to die . or vice versa . they say they've dealt with me enough . i've dealt with them enough . i'm freshman . in high school . schools not going to get any easier . i will not have more time to go out do they see that . no its summer . am i alowed to go out . no they say every once in a while i can go out . because its reasonable . whats the reason why i cant go out whenever i want . i've considered everything possible . thought everything over . i'm not going to suicide . i'm too good for that . that would mean i've given up i'm not going to run away . yet . i'm not going to run away from my fight if they decide to make my life a living hell . i'll make theirs a living torture . the kid they never wanted. demon child . i'm staying my ground . parents are overated . threaten to kill me one more time dad . i dare you i told you to kill me today . you walked away you fucking pussy come on . do it . i hope it haunts you for the rest of your life to know your son doesnt want you as a father . that if he had the choice he wouldnt have fucking chose you as his father . and mom . you can go with dad . i dont want you either you're nothing but another woman who bitches about everything my friends can think what they want . you two arent "awesome" you two . are miles from awesome . and i hope you read this one day when i've run away or killed myself .
Onto my boo . i love her . a lot . i miss her . a lot . but is it kind of a one way relationship .? i'm not sure . i feel like it . maybe i just miss her too much . i'm supposed to go to the movies with her friday . but once again . my parents decide to cut me off . and not let me go . they dont let me go out anyways . i can only hope for baby's forgiveness . now that summer is here . i wont have the power to see her as much as i would want . usually i would just visit her at lunchtimes . without my parents knowing . i' can only try to go out . and hope to succeed so i can see her . <3
everyday is brutal .
everynight is pain .
all humans have a certain span of patience .
and i've been waiting long enough .
then again .
i know death is only around the corner .
he has the power to solve my problems .
with the cost of creating for others .
to those people i apologize when the day comes .
but time will only catch up .